The Shocking Truth

A neighbouring safari lodge owner was travelling from his lodge to the small town of Hoedspruit late afternoon about 10 years ago. The road to the exit gate follows the southern boundary fence. He decided to do the trip in his Land Rover, which at the best of times can be notoriously unreliable.

Halfway to the gate he came across 2 lionesses lying in the middle of the road and since he was not in a great hurry to reach town he switched the vehicle off and enjoyed the sighting. Duty called after about 10 minutes, but when he turned the ignition key only a dreadful clicking sound could be heard.

Two lionesses lying in the road about 30 meters away and a broken Land Rover does not provide for any good synergy, but it gave him plenty of time to contemplate his next move. One of the terminals connecting the battery often jolts loose on the corrugated road as the fitting is quite eroded, he thought. So this is very easy to fix, but what of the 2 small problems lying in front of me on the road? Well desperate times called for desperate measures.

The lodge owner then did some mental arithmetic. I can get out of the car, open the bonnet and refit the terminal before the lions would spring into action, he calculated. I am sure that they look very sleepy.

Great plan. The lodge owner jumped out of the car and opened the bonnet in one easy move, but as he bent forward to fit the terminal things started to go wrong. As I mentioned before the road goes along the southern boundary fence. This fence is also electrified. As he bent forward in his haste, his butt touched this electrical wire sending 6000 volts of electricity through his already highly-strung and adrenaline filled body.

His head shot up and hit the raised bonnet from underneath with such force that the supporting bracket unhinged and the whole damn shoot came down on top of his head leaving him well and truly stuck and fearing for his life. Never before have man or mechanic ever got out from under such a mess in so quick time.

And the lions you may ask? This was all too much to bear and a very embarrassed ex mechanic freed his head just in time to see the last of two tails disappear about 200 meters away round the furthest tree.

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